Separation Anxiety – a parents view

So H goes to nursery 3 mornings a week, thanks to my wonderful mum she has him for the remainder of the week as I sadly work full time (breaks my heart but needs must!)  For the last few weeks his daddy has had to do the nursery drop offs as I am suffering from Separation Anxiety!!!  This term is always associated with how the child is feeling but I must say I do feel I also suffer from this problem.  It all stems from when H returned to nursery after a week off having chicken pox, the vision of him screaming ” I want my mummy” and putting out his arms to try and climb back into mine will stay with me forever.  He had been so good with drop offs that I had been doing them all, my hours have changed and I don’t start until 9am so it makes sense for me to drop him off, he had been strolling in without a backward glance quite happy.  I KNOW he is content at nursery he comes back full of stories and his book has very happy photos in showing what he is up too, he comes out very smiley when he is collected by my mum so I do know he is thriving and learning so much there!!  So why do I have this stomach churning, headache inducing feeling when I drop him off?  He starts to use a special noise and even starts to say “I want my mummy” as we drive up the lane. (He doesn’t do this for his dad!) the whole delaying tactic of “I need a kiss, I want to hold your hand, I need my back rubbing” all takes place. (the vision of his little face crying tears on that awful day are never far from my mind) I know he is very clever and he is trying to get a reaction from me as he just strolls in for daddy but with me I just want to run in after him scoop him up and take him home forever!  How do I work through this problem in my mind?  People tell me to toughen up, well I can’t!  Any suggestions to overcome this?  Does it get better or will I still suffer from separation anxiety when he goes to school??

 

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