Having a baby – what they don’t tell you…….

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I remember clearly the antenatal classes we went to, full of anticipation and feeling a little silly having to change a doll’s nappy.  I sat and listened what to expect when having a C section, how to breastfeed, what signs to look out for if baby is ill, how to hold baby etc etc, I didn’t think I was prepared but I felt in a better place to be prepared.  I know now 2 years later how wrong I was!  So listed below is what they don’t tell you in antenatal classes, what they don’t tell you in books, what people who have babies before don’t tell you, what you mum doesn’t tell you, what your friends don’t tell you:

  • Be prepared to be in shock for quite a while after birth (however that birth takes place) – you go in with a bump and come back with a baby
  • Be prepared to have NO sleep in the hospital not one second
  • Be prepared to have no dignity in hospital with many people viewing private areas and discussing in a loud voice so the entire ward knows about your private areas
  • Be prepared to waste a large amount of time working out how the car seat does up
  • Be prepared to constantly check every millisecond that your baby is breathing
  • Be prepared to cry about anything, even cry about crying
  • Be prepared for your boobs to become so sore that even thinking about them being sore makes you cry
  • Be prepared to have no clue what you are doing most of the time
  • Be prepared for unbelievable amounts of poo and the crevices in which that poo can get
  • Be prepared to be covered in wee and poo and vomit
  • Be prepared to spend a long time attempting to wind the baby
  • Be prepared for everybody to interfere and have an opinion
  • Be prepared for very very limited sleep
  • Be prepared to worry about how long the baby has slept, how much milk the baby has drunk constantly
  • Be prepared that on the first time you go out for lunch or a meal that the baby will blow out their nappy necessitating in an entire outfit change for both you and them
  • Be prepared to want to hang onto your maternity clothes as they are comfy not because they fit!
  • Be prepared to constantly have an aroma of baby puke rather than Chanel perfume around you
  • Get carpet cleaner in bulk quantity
  • Be prepared to constantly be at the doctors for any sniffle, spot or cough your baby might have
  • Be prepared to never be able to just leave the house with yourself and a handbag
  • Be prepared that when you do have some time off from baby you will spend the whole time looking at pictures of the baby and talking about the baby
  • Be prepared to stockpile reminders of the baby, first toy, shoes, bogey
  • Be prepared to have additional memory for your phone to keep up with the photo capacity needed
  • Be prepared for all those baby cuddles and smiles 🙂

 

 

 

 

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