A plea to other mums – let’s not compare….

Do you ever get that feeling when you meet up with a group of mummy friends that you are just going to be quiet, say nothing and agree with them that your delightful offspring doesn’t nap during the day and is a terror at night?  Why do we put ourselves through feeling like we need to lie a little when our lovely baby does nap during the day and does go to bed without a massive fight?

I have found myself in this situation a number of times during the first 12 months of my sons life.  He was a good baby, he did nap during the day, he did and still does go to bed with no problem, in the early days I used to say how good he was, then after receiving death stares from the other mums I started to say nothing, I would just nod and murmur something when they all would say how dreadful their night had been, I used to agree that it was a nightmare to get my little one to sleep in the day and I had no free time to myself.

It seems sad that fellow mummies tend to judge each other on how good their babies are, the beauty of babies is they are ALL different that is what makes the world go round, just because one sleeps and the other one doesn’t, nobody is right and nobody is wrong!

Fellow mummies you can share and know how that other mum is feeling, just because her baby sleeps it may not eat properly, it may not walk it may not talk, but the main thing is it really doesn’t matter.

I spent many months beating myself up because my little one didn’t eat lumps or anything remotely fresh in a sense, I felt jealous I suppose that other babies where busy eating cucumber, freshly made bread etc and H would projectile vomit anything larger than a pea!!

But then something dawned on me, my child is special, he is unique, it doesn’t matter what he can do that other babies cannot do, it doesn’t make him any less important than the next child and we as mummies need to stop over analysing and comparing our children with other children. We need to embrace what other toddlers and mummies are doing, learn from them but stop comparing.

So I am going to shout it out from the rooftops, my child sleeps well at night (mostly) he has a nap in the day (mostly) he is a good boy with few tantrums (mostly) he doesn’t eat fresh fruit, he prefers chocolate if he is honest, he says heliwopter instead of helicopter, so judge if you like but I won’t be judging your little one, because there truly are no comparisons.

I would love to hear your views and experiences.

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2 thoughts on “A plea to other mums – let’s not compare….

  1. I totally agree with you and actually TT sleeps through the night too although rarely has a nap. In my circle of mummy friends, TT did most things first apart from talking which he did last and still struggles with. Do I care? Not at all! It makes me giggle. Some of the things he says and how long it takes us to work out what he means just makes me laugh out loud. It took us quite a while to work out who “itchel” was at nursery.. turns out he has a friend called MITCHELL! and one of the funnier things he said the other day was “its been raining for weeks mummy”. So I know he can do whole sentances. As you say, they all learn at different paces, and they all have different strengths and it doesn’t matter who does what and when, they’ll all get there 🙂

    It is quite nice to find another mum whose child sleeps though the night though 😉

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  2. Oh bless him, sometimes Henry says things and it takes me a while to work out what he means 🙂 it is just frustrating when people like to compare, things that H is good at are balanced up by the things he is not so good at, thank god he likes sleeping, 12.5 hours straight through last night 🙂

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