Words I thought I would never say or hear……

ImageSo I was thinking the other day after hearing a random statement from H how much my life had changed with the things I find myself saying and indeed hearing.  My life seems to revolve around mini toddler disasters which when you actually stop and look back on them are in fact hilarious.  So I thought I would list down the bizarre way my life revolves now and some of the strange things I hear being said by my 2 year old and the even more strange things I have to say to him, I will leave your imagination to run riot considering what context these statements might be made in:


  • I want to eat his head
  • My willy is blowing in the wind
  • All the bogeys have gone (my response where have they gone?) reply in my mouth
  • Oh no his nose has fallen off
  • My tent has been stolen
  • I have broken my arm
  • Teddy live in my nappy with the poo
  • I need Sudocrem on my face
  • I live in a corner
  • Server I need cake
  • Make it snappy (?)
  • I am asleep (I love this one because clearly he is not asleep)
  • one, two, three, nine, ten, four
  • I don’t need a spoon
  • I AM HIDING (at the top of his voice)
  • I done wee wee on floor
  • Wee wee and poo goes to the sea
  • I flush button toilet
  • Out of the way lady (in the middle of the shop)
  • Red stop, green go
  • I lick the floor
  • I am the moon
  • Take it off me, (take what off you) this bogey on my finger



  • Don’t lick the window
  • Don’t ride Tigger
  • One piece in your mouth at a time
  • Chew
  • Swallow
  • Blow
  • Don’t pull it so hard, surely that must hurt?
  • Don’t eat toilet paper
  • Get that potty off your head
  • Don’t flick spaghetti
  • Yes of course you can hang upside down
  • Yes of course you can climb the enormous mountain (ie me lying in bed)
  • Yes mummy has boobies
  • Yes mummy’s top is enormous
  • Yes mummy’s pants are enormous
  • Yes mummy does look tired
  • No mummy is not asleep
  • Yes mummy now has a bogey on her top
  • Yes mummy has hairy legs

What do your little ones say that make you laugh and bring you back to reality with a bump?



One thought on “Words I thought I would never say or hear……

  1. This made me laugh out loud! So many times have I found myself saying strange things … “Please don’t lick the carpet”, “don’t chew the table leg” to name but a few. And TT, yesterday he lifted his t-shirt up and said “my tummy! Baby in there” ermmm maybe not lol. Love them!


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